Loyal Readers

Friday, 28 December 2012

Let’s Balance...




It is so difficult to manage parents, friends, girlfriend and the very annoying bosses in todays fast pace life. People are giving up, many people are not interested in finding a solution and others are blaming their luck for their messed up life. To have a successful and peaceful life, we need to balance our life around our family, friends, relationships and work. When all these areas of your life are balanced, it will give you peace of mind. When you have peace of mind automatically you will balance everything very well.

Don’t get depressed when you make any kind of blunder in your office, your boss will definitely bark at you. He will pull a face or may make some harsh statement, ‘You are not performing well, you are not paying enough attention at work’. Such statement will disappoint you and you will tempt to shriek ‘Fuck the performance’, but don’t worry you are not a loser’.
What will you do if you perform really well in office and you don’t have time for your girlfriend, will you get peace of mind?
I hope you got the answer........
Due to your exceptional performance your boss will give you a 50% increment but on the other hand your girlfriend texts you, ‘It’s enough now, I am breaking up with you. I am sick and tired of your nuisance’. Will you able to enjoy that 50% increment after your break up?

Then with a broken heart you call your buddies for drinks and get drunk. At night, your girlfriend texts you again, ‘You are seriously a loser, you can’t even say sorry. Do you really want to break-up?’ out of frustration you will smash bottles and will wonder how to tackle your baffling girlfriend?

As you will reach home, mom will welcome you with the typical irritated look and she will ask, ‘did you drink? If you will drink so much then who will give you a girl? Don’t forget that you are still single’. The very next moment your father will jump into the boiling hot conversation, ‘Why did you come home? Better stay at your friend’s place only. Do you even care about us? Do you have time for us? This is not any hotel, you are coming home just to eat and sleep. I will not tolerate this anymore, note my words’. With aggravation you will rush in your room and you will think how to cope with your parent’s expectation and aspiration?

Next day you will enjoy your Sunday evening with your friends while playing cricket. Your mom will call and she will ask, ‘are you coming to Sharma aunty’s place?’ you will shout and refuse with a big ‘NO’ and you will resume your play and after sometime your girlfriend texts you, ‘Okay very nice, you have time to play cricket but you don’t have time for me, Fuck off’ and your Sunday will end up with disappointment.

Next day, Monday morning you will see that dirty face of your boss and the very first question he will put at you, ‘Did you prepare a progress report?’
Ohhh Jesus.....
Your boss will get on your nerves and you will tempt to yell, ‘Keep your fucking mouth shut and fuck your progress. I am not making any progress in my life and you bloody want your work progress report.

Hang on...hang on...hang on

Do you think that your life is full of stress and strain? No, it is not, it’s entirely up to you and how you take it. If you will crib and accept that your life is full of tension, then it is and if you say your life is fucking awesome then it is.

Why don’t we live intentionally by setting up our goals and priorities in life?
If you have ever noticed a leaf in the flowing river, it goes with the water flow. It doesn't know where it is heading; it just moves ahead aimlessly with the flow. In the same way if we won’t have clear goals and priorities, then this life will drag us somewhere with its flow and we will end up with an imbalanced life.

So why don’t we set out our goals and priorities and balance our time smartly with family, friends, girlfriend and work.
- Don’t wait for the opportunity, just grab it and, spend some time with your parents, who have done so many things for you.
- Spend some time with your annoying boss, praise him and work like a smart horse not like a donkey and eventually your boss will keep your bank account healthy.
- Spend some time with your friends, who always stand with you in your ups and downs and give you their shoulder to cry when you are drunk.
- Spend some time with your girlfriend, who will make you a proud father one day.

Million Dollar Advice:-
    Cut the cake in such a way that everyone thinks that they are getting a bigger piece of cake. 


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Your constant 'Support will be my 'Triumph'.

Monday, 12 November 2012

OtheR sIde oF bOyS




Boys are morons = accepted
Boys are careless = accepted
Boys are cheaters = yeah sometimes
Boys are messy = erghh…. No comments
Boys are big time liars = may be, yeah, (depends on the situation)
Boys are flirts = Yes (when they are single) / No (When they’ve got their dream girl)

Girls Stop stop stop…… don’t think that you know everything about guys. There are numerous other things which you girls are unaware about, especially when they are in ‘LOVE’.

Do you want to know? 



Here they are……….

·         Guys melt when you stare at them with your angelic smile.

·         Guys look strong but actually they are more emotional than girls.

·         Guys may stare at hot chicks all day, but before they go to sleep, they would always think about the girl they truly love.

·         When a guy tells you about his problems that time he just needs you to listen and support him.

·         A guy literary doesn’t bother about their clothes and hairstyle once he gets his angel.

·         When a guy gets angry he wants you to hold his hand and make him calm.

·         Guys get jealous when you talk to other guys in front of them and what annoys them even more is when you say “arre baba, we are JUST FRIENDS”.

·         Guys love it when you say “Take Care of yourself” after a long conversation.

·         A guy would start lying when you become dominating.

·         Guys love to see you play with your hair.

·         Guys hate it when you mutter and “hmmmmmmm”.

·         When a guy sacrifices his Sunday morning sleep and health just to be with you, that means he really likes you and will do anything for you.

·         A guy will expect you to support him to fulfill his Big Dreams.

·         Guys would try to act normal but their day will be incomplete without listening to your voice.

·         When a guy loves you to the core, he would go against this world to get you on any condition. 


Do you want to test all these traits on guys?

You just need one guy to prove all the above lines. Then you decide whether boys are morons or emotional, loyal and sweet to their angels.

So, are you ready?



I request you to share you feedback here.

Your constant 'Support will be my 'Triumph'.

Monday, 10 September 2012

Who run the world?




Can you imagine your life without a female?

Here, I am not only talking about your girlfriend but also talking about all the female characters in your life, such as; your granny, your mother, your sister, your aunt and of course your Bollywood babes. Did you ever think about your life without these females?

Just keep all the thoughts aside and …

Just imagine you and your dad chopping vegetables and cooking together. Your dad is doing the laundry and you are rinsing them in the balcony.

Just imagine your devil brother tying Rakhi on your wrist on the occasion of Raksha bandhan and you are giving him chocolates as a return gift.

Just imagine your uncle making ladoos when you visit him as he finds a suitable boy for your marriage.

Just imagine you and your male friend together in the bed having a cosy time.
Just imagine men dancing in a dance bar wearing ghagra and choli and other drunkards showering money over them.

Just imagine our alluring Bollywood industry without hot chick actresses. How would all the movies look like? In all the movies crook villains would rape muscular heroes.

OMG…….No wayyysss. Aren’t these thoughts giving you goosebumps?
That is why women are a beautiful creation of God and men are nothing without them. So common boys let’s firmly promise ourselves that we will respect all the females around us and we will keep them safe and secure from crooks. Moreover, let’s openly accept that we are nothing without them.

So, who run the world?



Girllllllllllssss :D




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Your constant 'Support' will be my 'Triumph'.

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Mother.....My first love




She has given up on life
The day she chose to be a wife

Trying to adjust to the leaders rule,
Getting blamed, after working like a mule,

Waking up first and going to bed last,
On the smallest of mistakes; there is a blast,

Nine months of pain still makes her happy,
She gave up on career; to change our nappy,

Your happiness is hers; Ur her only goal,
She will drink your sorrows; served in a bowl,

There is utmost joy; when she feeds us the meals,
Make food someday; you will know how it feels,

Just remember the last time; on her forehead you kissed,
Though when she cares and calls; it makes you pissed,

If the expected things is not according to your taste,
The efforts that she has put is considered to be waste,

In the temple she prays for you; walking a mile,
You can’t even drop her; saying NO with a smile,

You feel she is old and will never understand you,
She was the one, who understood, when words were few,



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Your constant 'Support' will be my 'Triumph'.

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Distance: The biggest challenge




When you were here,
There was nothing to fear.
I could hold you so near,
There was no pain, no tear.

When we had a fight,
I could hold you so tight.
When nothing went right,
In darkness, you were the light.

The distance has played its role,
Each happiness has to pay its toll,
Everyone around is passing by scroll,
The road is smooth, but filled with coal.

There are many things to share,
But the talk starts with a flare.
The Inner soul happiness is very rare,
Because I still miss your love, your care.

I am frustrated like hell,
I have no one to tell.
Trying to rise out of the well,
So it’s you on whom I always yell.

God is juggling our life,
We are struggling in life.
Against the rules of this life,
I promise I will make you my wife; I will make you my wife.

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Your constant 'Support' will be my 'Triumph'.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

True LOVE…



‘Richard, please take me with you’, Laura said as she threw an empty can of Coke at me.

‘Darling, try to understand it’s my friend’s bachelor party and girls are strictly not allowed’, I said as I struggled to knot my tie.

‘We ladies are not allowed only because you chaps want to do filthy stuff after getting sloshed’, she yelled as she threw her sandal at me.

I burst into laughter.

‘Baby, we are decent guys and we know our limits’, I said as I wore my shoes.

‘Yeah, yeah, I know how decent you and your boys are. When you see a chick in a tight mini skirt with an exposing cleavage you roam around her like a puppy’, she screamed and walked out of the room.

Laura is my angelic wife; we got married ten years back after our six years of dating in college. Her sharp blue eyes lured me towards her and trapped me for a lifetime. Just like a school kid she is stubborn and like every typical girl I have to meet all her needs. I thought she will be alright after marriage but I was wrong. In fact, after marriage she became even more stubborn and possessive. If she would spot me gossiping to any other female, she would steam like a sizzling red hot chillyHowever, she is an excellent mom. She has more contributions towards my son, Steve’s upbringing. Laura’s first love is Steve, followed by me.

Even after a hell lot of arguments I was determined with my conclusion that I will go to my friend, Andy’s bachelor party. I reckon I will disappoint Laura tonight but I have to cheer up my friend, Andy. He was shattered because after three divorces he was ‘attempting’ a fourth marriage which obviously called for a big celebration.

The party kicked off at 10pm with tequila shots, Black label and Chivas Regal. As alcohol blended in my blood, my energy level boosted, I jumped on the dance floor and shook my booty. I was in heaven as my vision got blurred; as my steps got heavier and I gulped down two more pegs of Black Label.

‘Congratulations for the 4th time my boy’, I yelled as Andy approached towards me.

‘Thank you so much buddy’, Andy said in an intoxicated tone and kissed me passionately.

‘Let’s have some more tequila shots’ Andy shouted in excitement and we gulped down two shots of tequila.

The very next moment a girl in a black mini skirt came in my blurry vision.

‘Hey handsome’, she softly whispered into my ear as she moved her warm finger on my face.

‘He hel helloo oooo’, I stammered as she came closer to me. My brain stopped working as my intoxicated eye balls got stuck on her deep cleavage, she followed my gaze and she giggled.

‘Would you like to have some drinks with me?’ she asked in a seducing tone and kept her hand on my waist.

‘Sss suu suree’, I couldn’t say no. I consumed another peg of Black Label and she had red wine.

The black magic of Black Label activated in me as she dragged me onto the dance floor and wrenched me closer to her. I kept my hand on her slim waist as an electric current passed in my body. The very next moment she pulled out a lollipop from her hand bag and squeezed it into her deep cleavage and winked at me. My heartbeat got faster as I gawked at the lollipop and sweat beads emerged on my forehead. She made me drink her red wine to relax me, but unfortunately I lost self-control. I leaned towards her to feel her chiseled figure and the very next moment I collapsed on the floor.

When I opened my eyes, I noticed that I was on my own bed wearing my night suit. My headache ensured that I was dead drunk last night, but my mind flooded with heaps of questions.
How the hell I reached home?
Who dropped me?
What time I came?

And the most essential question struck my mind, ‘Where is Laura?’

‘Laura, Laura, Darling where are you?  I shouted but I didn’t receive any response. I checked the bathroom, kitchen and the garden, but I couldn’t trace her presence anywhere. I was sure that she must be highly disappointed.

As I entered in the living room, I saw Steve playing on his playstation.

‘Steve, where is mom?’ I asked impatiently.

‘Check the dining table’, he said without looking at me.
_______________________________________________________________________
Good morning Honey,

I have prepared your favourite breakfast today and it’s on the table. Please have it whilst I am gone to the supermarket.
I will be back soon.

I love you.
Laura,
_______________________________________________________________________


Laura’s sweet note baffled me and I questioned myself, ‘why she is not mad at me?’I felt that something was fishy.

‘Steve, tell me what happened last night? how I came home?

‘Dad move, don’t disturb me. I am about to win’, he shouted as I stood in front of the television.

‘Ohh my baby, please tell me what happened last night when I was drunk. I will buy you new games’, I said with a smile.

‘Okay, promise?’

‘Promise my boy’

Steve scratched this head and said, ‘Two men came home to drop you around 12-ish. You were dead drunk, you were unable to stand and constantly mumbling something bad. You directly went into the kitchen to drink water and broke new crockery, then came in the living room and smashed our family photo and at last you puked on our new sofa. At the end, mom cleaned all the mess and made you sleep on your bed, when she tried to take off your shirt and trousers, you shouted, ‘Hey lady, please leave me. Leave me alone, I can’t do this. I am married.’ Mom stared at you for a few seconds and kissed you passionately.

My eyes got moist as a smile spread on my worried face and the very next moment Laura was on the door, I stared at her and blushed.

‘Good morning drunk man’, she said as she blushed.

‘I love you my possessive wife’ I whispered into her ears and hugged her tight.

‘I love you too my hubby’, she said as she kissed me on my neck.

I couldn’t wait any longer, our lips planted on each other and Steve closed his eyes.


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Your constant 'Support' will be my 'Triumph'.

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Friendship at first sight….

You meet some stranger at school, college or at work and as time flies you come close to that person and without realizing you start sharing each and everything with him or her. Within a few years you get attached to that person and you start giving him or her more importance in your life. You share almost similar likings and disliking and you stand next to each other in happy and sad moments, facing ups and downs of life together is what we call FRIENDSHIP.





Friends play a very crucial role in our life. You can’t visualize life without friends.
Life without friends is like a garden without flowers.
Life without friends is like a sky without clouds.
Life without friends is like an ocean without water.
Life without friends is like a school without a beautiful teacher.
Life without friends is like underwear without elastic.

Knowingly or unknowingly you always weave golden memories with your friends, which you can’t with your family or girlfriend. When you are with your friends your real soul jumps out, whereas with family you always wear a mask of decency. You have to be rigid by following some rules, whereas with FRIENDS there are no rules, there is always FUN.

Few instances are here:  

  •  Father will teach you how to earn money tactfully where as your friends will teach you how to spend money effectively.
  • Your friends will give you confidence to carry the latest hairstyle however your mum says it doesn’t suit you.
  • When you want to propose a girl your friends will come up with excellent plans, whereas your brother will demotivate you by saying, ‘ugly pig, look at yourself in the mirror’.

  •  At the age of 15 when you see a hot actress on TV and few minutes later you experience white fluid in your pants and you get scared that you got some disease and immediately you ask your friend ‘What the fuck is this? If my mum will come to know she will kill me’ and your friends will resolve your confusion and make you realize that you are boiled potato now and ready to rock and roll.
  • When your girlfriend hugs you it contains 40% of love and 60% of lust but when your friends hug you it purely contains 100% of love, affection and brotherhood.

  • When your parents ask you for a Goa trip you will say, ‘I got exams next week’ but when your friends ask you for a Goa trip you will say ‘hmmmmm…I got my exams next week but no worries, I will manage and anyway I am only left with last two chapters. So I am in’.
  • When you are drunk, your friends will give you shoulder to lean on with a glass of beer, where as your dad will give you one tight slap.

  • You will always share your best HD porn collection with your friends, but you will hide it with from your brother.
  • When you will fight with your girlfriend you both will sob whole day and night, but when you will fight with your friend you will be disappointed and  keep on thinking how should I say sorry. At the end you will get frustrated and call your friend ‘Arre sorry yar, please don’t take it seriously, I was just kidding. Now chuck it and let’s go for some chilled beer and fag’, very next hour you are sipping beer in a bar and problem solved.
  •  Our parents try to inject good quality and knowledge in us but our friends always target to spoil us. However, to be spoilt to a certain limit is acceptable because we don’t want to become ‘Sadhu Maharaj’ in life.

  • You can’t drink with your family. You can drink with your girlfriend (only if she doesn’t mind). However, you can definitely drink with your friends, get drunk and do some belly dance.
  • When you will be tensed you will not share your problem with your mum, dad, sister or brother. You will directly approach your friend and tell him everything in detail. Your friend will listen to your problem and give you the best advice and you will feel relaxed. When you will be in deep shit, your friends will definitely take you out of it, they will not leave you alone.
  • When you will be with your dominating girlfriend you will be like a cat, but when you will be with your friends you will be like a brave lion.

  • Only with your friends you can do unbelievable and unimaginable stuff, i.e. get drunk in afternoon, have Maggi at 6 o’clock in the morning, write a love letter to your beautiful teacher and peep at neighbor’s love making from your window.

  •  Your mum, dad, brother, sister or girlfriend may not know you as well as your friends know you. Your friends are very well aware about your all scandals. They exactly know how many girls you have messed up with, how many times you got drunk and puked, in how many subjects you failed, they know your secret and wild fantasies, they know who your favorite teacher in college is and they even know which girl slapped you in public and humiliated you.

  • When you go on a date with a bombshell girl, your friends will advise you to shave you stinky armpit and your curly chest hair.
  • You can’t scratch your groin in front of you dad. You can’t fart in front of your girlfriend. You can’t pick your nose in front of your neighbor’s daughter. However, you can do all these unhygienic things comfortably in presence of your friends.
You must have met hundreds of people till today, from that you might have kept very good and creamy people in your pocket and filtered boring ones. Those very good and smooth people are your FRIENDS today, who are sharing similar likings and dislike as you. You have to keep them with you throughout your life because life without friends is nothing. By this age you must have realized that life sucks, but with a few good friends you can easily get through it.

Once you achieve your higher education, you will chase for a job. Once you get a job you will say I want to earn now, I want to become rich and then I will enjoy my time with friends. After few years when you will have a heap of money in your bank account by that time it will be too late and you will not have anyone around you except your wife and children, and your friends will show you their middle finger.

With money you can’t buy FRIENDS like vegetables, you have to spare some time for friends from your busy life and have to create some golden memories with them.


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Your constant 'Support' will be my 'Triumph'.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

The Revenge




Yesterday morning I was on my way to office, I boarded 8:35am train and swiftly adjusted myself next to a window seat. I squeezed my bag between my legs and unfold a fresh newspaper. As I was about to read headline, my attention grabbed by red folded letter next to me. I glanced around, but no one seemed interested in it. I waited for more five minutes and then quickly seized it.

As I opened it, I found that someone had written a letter to God. This amazed me and with curiosity I started reading it…………………


Dear GOD,

I want to tell you something here.

Beer, hookah, cigarette, porn movies, music and friends always roamed around my life but the only thing lacking was a "GIRL". I tried my hands on various girls, but at the end I failed with humiliation and I gave up. I asked myself, ‘What is wrong in me?’ Very next day, when I saw myself in a mirror answer was in front of my eyes, my 110kg fat body. I was disappointed with my look but thanks to those gorgeous porn girls who kept me fresh and energetic.

However, One day a miracle happened to me. I got a message from an unknown girl on Facebook. ‘Hi smarty, how are you?’ I was delighted to see her message but very next moment I had a mixed feeling running through my mind that she might have mistaken by sending it to me. I closed my eyes and remembered my school teacher’s advice ‘always think positive’ and I told myself, ‘idiot, think positive, think positive, think positive’. I pinched myself and ensured that I am not day dreaming. 

My attention was grabbed by her curvy figure and slim waist. Her blazing eyes hooked me when I saw her snaps on Facebook. She looked angelic in her sharp brown eyes, thin red lips and wavy hair. We started chatting for two to three hours everyday and knew each other well. Her messages had something like a magnetic effect which attracted me more and more towards her.

Boring tasteless life turned into exciting glittering life as she came close to me. To make our flirtious conversation more interesting, we swapped our numbers. When I heard her seducing voice chill passed down my spine and I melted in her dreams.

In five months, we crossed a thin line of friendship as she cared for me. I was on cloud nine as it was like a dream for me to have such a bombshell girl. I felt proud and showed her pictures to all my friends and I proved them that I am not a loser anymore.

After six months, our telephonic conversation lasted long till 4 to 5 in the morning and my 
bed sheet started getting wet, after that I understood something is wrong.

I couldn’t control myself and asked her to meet in person and she replied, ‘I got my exams next week’

OK fine.

I asked her second time. She said, ‘I got my sister’s wedding next month’.

OK fine.

After few days she texted me, ‘I want to tell you something’. I wondered what it would be.

I asked her 3rd time, when valentine was around the corner. She said, ‘I am busy in my family function’.

OK fine.

I gave her some more time and waited for few more weeks.

One night I got her text, ‘Please, check your email’. I checked the time it was 4am. I filled with curiosity and excitement, I quickly logged in and opened her email and It read………..

“Sorry honey, I am not the one who is on your Facebook profile. I am somebody someone else. I saw you somewhere and I liked you, but I had not enough courage to approach you with my real personality and that is the only reason why I used random name someone’s name and photos to approach you. I am sorry. Please forgive me”

I was completely shattered after reading her email. My blood chocked in veins, brain stopped working and body froze on the spot. Tears rolled down my eyes as my feelings got hurt. I felt cheated as she played with my feelings. In short, SHE USED ME.

GOD, I have decided I will take a REVENGE. Now that I know her real identity and I will not spare her so easily.  She played with my feelings so now she will have to payback.

Before I take my final move I am writing this letter to you before I take my final move. Please GOD forgive me for this, I know I am going to do a wrong thing.

But yes, I will take REVENGE.

Sorry God,
I Love You,
Regards,
RJ.


As I finished, I was surprised and worried, my mind filled with heaps of questions. What that this guy will do? What would be his final move? How he will take REVENGE? and Will she able to face it? 
My mind was blank and I just prayed to God that grand some EXTRA strength to that girl to face harsh REVENGE. 


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Your constant 'Support' will be my 'Triumph'.